We had a crowded bus today. I hope those of you who had to stand as we barreled through the fog on the stretch of road spanning Lake Washington have a wonderful day to make up for the inauspicious start.
And I have to thank you for being a little more chipper about the situation than a gentleman on the bus yesterday evening. The bus driver on the way home last night was kind enough to stop for me after he had already pulled out of the Overlake Transit Center bus bay for the 545--even though I sneakily ran around the back way and caught him as he was leaving in my direction. Apparently, the normal long bus had broken down and we were on a normal downtown bus. A little more cozy than normal, but still convenient transportation nonetheless.
Well one fellow saw the bus as we pulled up to give him a ride and he immediately made a point of displaying his disapproval with nasty looks before he even got on. He immediately complained to the driver about "the tiny bus" and shot nasty looks at everybody as he shook his head in disgust. Of course, he ended up standing right in front of me as I also stood in the back of the bus.
Was this free transportation really that bad? Was this situation that far beneath him that he needed to let us know just how disgraced he was? It was really starting to bug me. And then he started being rude to people around him and wouldn't cooperate as we tried to work together like a human Tetris game to shuffle people in and out of the bus. He was seriously a jerk and the way he was treating everybody else was starting to get me mad.
All of a sudden I felt like I was offended as he was offensive to everybody else. As if I should be sticking up for people or the defender of the oppressed. Why, I have no idea, but I mustered up the most stone-cold glare I could manage and prayed we would make eye contact.
And then I realized how foolish I was being. Matching hatred for hatred wasn't going to fix this guy. I started thinking about how I have been on this kick of being kind, loving, and gracious to everybody. Especially the ones that make it hard and difficult. And I felt like a hypocrite for throwing it out the window and weak in my own positions for being affected by this freakazoid on the bus.
I had to check myself a lot the rest of the way home. So maybe I'm not totally awesome at being kind to the least deserving, but what makes any of us deserve kindness anyway?
So yeah, it was a good reminder of the following:
- Having to stand on the bus is not the worst thing in the world
- Being kind to some people can be hard
- I could stand to gain some perspective and not become so enraged or emotionally affected when I see others wronged. Granted, I still think it's wrong and I still want to get involved, but not with an emotional charge because it changes the way I think
- I really should charge my Zune so I would have something to do when I can't sit and read
So that seemed like a major digression, but the point is that we faced a similar situation this morning and nobody freaked out. Nobody that fit on the bus anyway. So thanks for that guys :)
I also read some really cool stuff about love this morning--what, love? dude you're lame. I know.
Yeah, I still think I'm a ways off from ever figuring that stuff out and how people are even supposed to deal with each other or believe that anybody could love them for no reason. For some people, that just could never make sense and they are convinced they can't be loved and won't allow anybody to love them. Some stare love right in the face each day and can't be convinced that it's real. Others desperately want to believe it's real but maybe can't see it. I don't know. It's all confusing and it's all something I want to believe and understand. So maybe I'll figure it out and then write a disgustingly emotional and terrifyingly boring blog post about it.
Until then, happy bussing. See you tomorrow Seattle-to-Redmond commuters.
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