Saturday, February 6, 2010


"To vibrate or sound, especially in response to another vibration"

I've been digging this song lately. Maybe you can too.

"I Can Feel A Hot One"

I could feel a hot one taking me down
For a moment, I could feel the force
Fainted to the point of tears
And you were holding on to make a point
What's the point?

I'm but a clean man, stable and alone man
Make it so I won't have to try
The faces always stay the same
So I face the fact that I'm just fine
I said that I'm just fine

I remember, head down,
After you had found out
Manna is a hell of a drug
And I need a little more, I think
Because enough is never quite enough
What's enough?

I took it like a grown man crying on the pavement
Hoping you would show your face
But I haven't heard a thing you've said
In at least a couple hundred days
What'd you say?

I was in the front seat, shaking it out
And I was asking if you felt alright
I never want to hear the truth
I want to hear your voice, it sounded fine
My voice, it sounded fine

I could feel my heartbeat taking me down
And for the moment, I would sleep alright
I'm dealing with a selfish fear
To keep me up another restless night
Another restless night

The blood was dry, it was sober
The feeling of audible cracks
And I could tell it was over
From the curtains that hung from your neck

And I realized that then you were perfect
And my teeth ripping out of my head
And it looked like a painting I once knew
Back when my thoughts weren't entirely intact

To pray for what I thought were angels
Ended up being ambulances
And the Lord showed me dreams of my daughter
She was crying inside your stomach

And I felt love again

Bird Love

My apartment gets a lot of big black birds hanging out on the 7th floor deck. I love how big the birds are here. It's crazy to see these things running around and wonder who is feeding them protein bars when the rest of Seattle isn't looking.

So one day I was hanging out checking out the city and the sunset and there happened to be a couple black birds hanging out close by. I took a step and they flew away a bit. As curiosity started taking over, I started seeing just how little I could move before they would get scared away. I flinched an arm and they jumped. I turned my head and they fled to the panic room. It didn't take much.

Man, birds are flighty.

In one moment, I stared up at the birds as they discussed their narrow escape at a new and safe location. I began to wish they could listen in on what was going on through my head: if only you knew that I am not here to hurt you. If only you would stay, I might actually be nice to you. I might actually take care of you. If I could communicate in some way you could understand, I could show you some bird love.

Well maybe. I think birds are kind of creepy and I would never want one as a pet.

I think people can be flighty too.

Fear of being hurt used to make me shy away from people. Any attempt by anyone to get close would send me flying to the panic room I set up for myself in my head. Since then, I have learned to be ok with being a bit more vulnerable, a bit more open, a bit more honest. Mostly I have learned to be a bit more trusting and to realize I could never be loved if I fly away from anything that came close.

If I could speak bird, I would like to be more reassuring. I would like to communicate safety and kindness to people who might want it. But I'm bad enough with human words as it is. I think I would be ok if I learned how to show more bird love.

I have seen my fair share of crap in my day. Perhaps I have actually grown or perhaps I have actually become more desensitized to fear. I think my bigger issue now is failing to be flighty is really just failing to pursue. I don't get out of the way. I just take the hit because that's what I know. But to be honest, I'd rather take the hits and cling to the thought that one day something will actually be bird love.

So there's two sides to that fence and I feel like I've been on both sides of them. On one side, I never let anybody get close. On another, I just stopped caring and hoped for the best.

I'd love to learn how to perch on that one happy place in the middle--if one exists.

I think it's going to involve me learning the language though. I used to be good at turning insides to English. Maybe I'll learn to do that again someday. That would be nice anyway.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Observe the evidences of humanity. And then clean it

For the last few months, I've been working with the People's Belltown Republic. It's a small group of people who care about our neighborhood and want to invest in it. We meet on Sunday's near 3rd and Blanchard and pick up trash. Occasionally we do things to effect some environment goodness in an urban environment. However, I'm not the environmental studies extraordinaire in the group so I just do what I'm told.

There are days when I pick up things hidden in bushes and in corners that really make you realize that life is not peaches and cream for everybody. Whether forced into a lifestyle or by choice, people often leave evidence of themselves in the trash we pick up and it sometimes breaks my heart.

If anything, it moves me to compassion and compassion moves me to action. I have quickly come to love Seattle and this little crockpot of people we call Belltown. I'm really excited to see our little group grow. Moreover, it's a lot of fun to see Belltown striving to make a community of itself and to support all the groups that want to be a part of that.

This really isn't an epic post with deeply insightful meaning. I think I'm too tired right now to be epic. However, I really like what I'm doing and I think it's worth sharing. If you ever want to come check it out sometime, come join me on Sundays at 3.

You'll find a group of really cool people. You'll get to have a few beers with us after. You'll be a part of a neighborhood you may come to love as much as I do.


Friday, January 8, 2010

Like a kid again

I'm a bit delayed in writing about this, but last weekend I wandered into a place in South Lake Union that quickly became one of my favorite places in Seattle.

Jillian's Billiard Club is a pool hall, an arcade, a place to hang out, and overall the place elicited a sense of unbridled excitement I hadn't felt in a long time.

I went with a few friends and everybody started nerding out right away. They have many of the old school "shoot zombies, mutants, and aliens" games and all the knock-offs of the same. There are more of the myriad racing games than you can shake a stick at--including one where you can drive a semi-truck around.

There are pool tables all over the place, as well as a few ping-pong tables upstairs.

We wandered around for a while and forgot how busy we were trying to grow up. By the end of the night, the collection of guys that went spent about an hour battling out over foosball.

Overall, it's a solid place to check out and I'm sure I'll be going back.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

For this reason, I like Seattle

I just saw this on TV and it turns out the commercial is also on the web site. I love that this is real. I love that this is Seattle. I love weird things.

At the Movies

You know how at the movie theater they have that big sound to show off the Dolby sound system or whatever it is they happen to use? I really think more movies should start this way instead.

Eye Poping Lemur - For more amazing video clips, click here

Monday, January 4, 2010

Making it easy to find the 'lol'

I'm usually a fan of simple humor. I like it when things are dumb and I don't have to spend too much energy to enjoy it. In fact, with most of the complexities and challenges I face, sometimes not thinking is a huge relief.

So it is with my latest StumbleUpon find: 5 second videos
This is corny, simple, and dumb. Aka, right up my alley: